Comebacks for Fat People

Some people are idiots and there seems no helping it. If you are overweight and are occasionally verbally harassed by bullies, it is easy to say "Just ignore them!". It is true though.. someone who would make such jokes is really not worthy of any response at all. Usually only people who are extremely insecure would even make such a joke or comment.

Children can be implausibly cruel to overweight kids (or grown-ups).

It might sound like a cliché, but it really is important to be above that kind of stupidity and lack of originality. However, if you are tired of walking away with an empty, defeated feeling, perhaps these tips can help you.

You're So Fat..
Indirect Name Calling
Comebacks For Any Situation

You're so Fat..

If you decide to say something to such a remark, then make sure you look the bully straight in the eyes when you say it. Look confident and, above all, look relaxed.

Comeback 1: "Can't get anything past you, huh?"

Comeback 2: "Well.. I can always diet, if I want to, but you will always be ugly."

Comeback 3: "I'm not fat.. I'm just allergic to you and I swell up."

Comeback 4: "How fat am I?"
The above line should be accompanied by a confident and curious look on your face.

You're so fat that if you were to haul a**, you would have to make two trips!

Comeback 1: "Of course I would.. I'd have to come back and get you."

Comeback 2: "So you're telling me that because you think I don't know I'm fat, or because you want to help me carry the load?"

You're so fat that someone once swerved to avoid hitting you and ran out of gas!

Comeback 1: You laugh and say: "That's a good one! I haven't heard that one before."

This is actually a good response to any line that is meant to be an insult, but at least has some originality in it. By laughing whole-heartedly you also show that you have a sense of humor, which in turn makes you a less suitable "victim" for future attacks.

Comeback 2: "That one's so old, I heard that back when you were eating your buggers, which was... (and you look at someone nearby, a friend, if possible, and say).. yesterday, right?"

You're so fat, you have your own zip code!

Comeback 1: "That's not true anymore.. I lost some weight and they took it away from me."

Comeback 2: "Wow.. that one is so old, next thing you're gonna tell me is that I'm so fat, someone once swerved to avoid hitting me and ran out of gas!"

Indirect Name Calling

"Check out the fatso!"

Can be "check out the fat a**" or any variation of this phrase that shrieks of brilliance and originality. In this case we are talking about big time losers.. Those that don't even say things to your face. They really don't deserve any response from you at all, but if you really really want to say something, it could be..

Comeback 1: "Me? You ought to see my mum!"
With such a comeback you are outdoing the bully and showing that you have two things they probably don't: guts and a sense of humor.

Instead of this comeback you could also use any of the general ones, described in the following chapter.