How to React to Verbal Abuse

No one should allow verbal abuse to continue. You may not be able to stop it from initially happening, but you can certainly take steps to stop it from happening again. It is important to understand exactly what verbal abuse is and how to respond to it.

Many people think of physical harm when they hear the word abuse. Verbal abuse can cause damage to a person as well, but in a different way. A person who is repeatedly spoken to in a demeaning, condescending manner can suffer a great deal of emotional and psychological stress and pain.

What is Verbal Abuse?
What are the Effects of Verbal Abuse?
How to React to Verbal Abuse

What is Verbal Abuse?

The term verbal abuse takes many forms. The abuser may be vocal, may commit the abuse in written form, or online. Here are some common ways that people verbally abuse others:

Yelling/screaming
Insults
Mocking/sarcastic comments (alone or in public)
Extremely negative criticism
Intimidating threats
Disregard for feelings
Cursing/swearing
Manipulating words
Being called derogatory names

When these types of verbal communications become a pattern of behavior, it can be called verbal abuse. The abuser creates an emotional environment where they have control over the victim because of this abuse.

What are the Effects of Verbal Abuse?

While there is no single form of verbal abuse, the effect on the person who receives the abuse is the same. Poor emotional development can occur in younger victims. A feeling of shame or a very low self-esteem is often the result of verbal abuse. A general lack of confidence or a feeling of inferiority is common in someone being verbally abused. A great deal of emotional pain and psychological issues can develop.

It is also common for verbal abusers to intensify the abuse over time. Verbal abuse often leads to or is accompanied by physical abuse. Stress and emotional trauma can also lead to physical harm and poor physical health.

How to React to Verbal Abuse

Understand that it is not your fault.

Often, an abuser will blame the victim for their behavior. Do not believe this lie. There is no reason for anyone to verbally abuse you.

Find out if they know they are abusing you.

If you are in a relationship with them, attempt to discuss their hurtful words and let them know how it makes you feel. Sometimes, people do not realize that they are being overly critical or that their negative comments hurt you, so make them aware.

Relationship counseling is the next step if you are married or dating. If you are dealing with a family member or friend, an open and honest discussion may be all that is needed. If they seem uncaring of your feelings or unwilling to change, avoid being around them.

Get private counseling and get away from the negative environment.

Most abusers simply do not care about your feelings, and just want to hold on to their control over you. Discussing the issue will help you to find out if they are consciously hurting you. A true abuser will most likely disregard your feelings and ignore you. They might also become sarcastic or put you down for approaching them. This is a sign that they are unwilling to change, and you should take steps to get away from them.

Talk it over with friends and family.

Make others aware of what you are going through. If they love and support you, it will be easier for you to recover from the abuse and change your environment to a positive one. Do not be too proud or ashamed to ask for help. Remember that it is not your fault.

Don't show your emotions to the abuser.

They may want to see you cry, get angry, and express hurt. Do your best to seem calm and neutral. Do not allow them to continue to have control over your emotions. Don't argue with them or try to verbally combat them. You will only fuel them to abuse you more. By becoming neutral and non-responsive, you are reclaiming your control over your emotions.

Be aware that if you don't react to them, they may try harder and might even try to physically harm you to get a reaction. You should get away from them at your earliest opportunity if they show any signs of escalating the level of abuse. Even if they promise to change, you should leave them.

Allow yourself time to heal.

Even if you are able to work things out with the person and the abuse stops, you need to let your emotions heal. Counseling can help you rebuild your self-esteem. You may need to limit your interaction with the person until you feel ready to be around them again.

If you are in a situation where the abuser refused to change, and you have left the negative environment, you still need time to heal. Stay away from them and surround yourself with loving, positive people.

Overall, if you are a victim of verbal abuse, you can try to make things better between you and that person. If they don't change, you have every right to end your communication with them. Don't think that you have to go through it alone. You are a valuable individual, and you deserve to be treated with respect. Get help, and find a positive environment.